The Moving Monotype

Here's a dim and far away shot of my mail art. I was trying to see what I could do with this paper and watercolor paints. As you can see, it's not really a ton. The paper doesn't absorb and so, these are still drying. But, I think I may have cracked a dilemma that I have been working on regarding the 'stars screaming' quote from earlier. I was trying to think of how I could portray that even a little bit. I came up with scraping the paper (sliding, really) over the paint. It's sort of like a monotype print....a moving monotype. Hmm maybe that's what I'll call this particular batch of mail art. I'm still willing to try entirely different techniques with theses, I'm only in the beginning stages over here. Anyway, that's the update so far. You can see today's circle painting in the upper right hand corner of this photo too. That is also drying. And so, I wait...

Mail Art

I'm going to make some, and I thoroughly encourage others to do so as well. I have some blank postcard paper, but I'm not entirely sure that the paper is going to be sufficient for that. So, I may end up making some that same size out of thicker, more absorbent paper. We shall see on that front.
However, just an added note about mail art, in general....I enjoy the idea of it, the fact that it inherently travels. It has some work to do, and withstand weather and wrinkles and still look good. That's the real challenge I think, to make the pieces look cool after they have taken a beating.
I'm still thinking it all out, but I have decided that for my thank you 'letters' to my references for grad school, that I would make something art-related, something that they could keep or display, if they so chose. Instead of a card with a small painting inside, I thought, 'Why not make the card the art, why not make it a postcard?' If it's cool enough, I think they will work. If not, I'll make something else, like a home-made card and envelope. Which, I have done countless times, but is not thrilling me as much, at this point.

I'll keep updating...

Myspace Thinks My Blog Has 'Head Lice'

come see the show. *jazz hands*
But apparently it's spam.....and not only was the link disabled, but it also handily tells everyone who clicks on it from my page that this blog (THIS blog you are reading right now) is considered "spam" and "naughty". Myspace also likens it to "head lice".
They are classy with a 'K'.
I've never even had head lice.
I know who should though...

And I certainly don't appreciate the comparison.
It's defamation of character, and I have told them that in email form, repeatedly.

I am thoroughly against the idea of my art (my WORK), that is primarily about women's issues and victimization, as "naughty".

That's some nerve...that I need to pinch.

Eight Through Fourteen

These paintings were conceived from January 21 through yesterday, January 28, 2009. They are all a part of the 365 series. I record all of this information on the backs of the pieces, as well. Number twelve in this portion, is about four times the size of the rest of these so far, so the larger version would be appropriate. Otherwise, these are pretty much in line with the actual sizes, give or take a few inches. Thus far, these have been mainly 'pocket paintings'.


365.eight



365.nine



365.ten



365.eleven



365.twelve



365.thirteen



365.fourteen



Cheers.

Empty, Rather Than Full II

More thoughts on loss. In my thesis paper for my BFA, I wrote in much length about the subject of loss. In the first line I described the quality of loss. It's a curious thing, because the main motivation behind loss seems to be leaving one in a state of absence. Although, I believe the very nature of absence to be full...of loss.

Think about losing something, or someone. We can still feel them after we have lost them, perhaps even more keenly. Loss creates something else in its own absence; there is still a presence being felt. And maybe that has to do with the concept of 'lost and found' because we are always expecting to find it again, aren't we? We are surprised when we have lost something, every time, because we still feel it....somewhere. We very much expect to get it back, we always think we'll have it again.

It's a new and different angle in regards to loss, for me. I'd like to further explore it, and come back to it. But it's an addendum to my thoughts on the subject. Loss leaving something else behind in its wake. Maybe it doesn't leave something entirely different (in the form of loss). Maybe it leaves like, a shadow of itself (but also in the form of loss).

So if the ultimate goal is to get back what we have lost, but we still have a 'loss shadow'.....is that which we have lost really gone at all? If it's a shadow, it alludes that a part of it is still there. If the act of losing has left a presence behind, is it the same presence, merely in a different form? Or is it more like residue?

...has the 'full' been here all along?

Empty, Rather than Full

I just had to put my cat 'to sleep'. The second one to go within a year's time. It definitely makes me think about life though, and mortality, and time. So many things to think about, related to death. But the thing I come back to, my most powerful impression of death (within the several I have bore witness to) is that there is a moment when I KNOW, you know? I know because things are empty rather than full, and it's a feeling rather than a set of hard and fast rules. It's a feeling, that comes from watching something so dramatic in its transition. It's a complete upheaval of everything I know to be truth....my feeling of 'knowing'.

Because death is an unknown process....those who have gone, have traveled/journeyed somewhere that I have never been. I look at the whole process with a deep amount of respect, knowing that they are traveling in completely unchartered territory. And I cannot help them with that, I cannot tell them what the journey will be like in order to ease their fears, and conversely, they cannot tell me in order to ease mine.

That is something that I still cannot imagine, even though I have witnessed it several times. It is unfathomable to me still, 'death'. I have so many questions that will always remain unanswered...until my own time, my own adventure into the unknown.

But, all I'm left with today is...'empty, rather than full'...where did it all go?

A thought that is simple and child-like, but still, no one will ever be able to answer that for me, and so I still have to wonder. I'm somewhat stuck at that point....where did all of the 'full' go?

(I only bring this up because it is related to loss, and that is what I base many of my artistic endeavors upon...the idea of loss: to be empty rather than full.)

Break the Silence

I just sent off my submissions and hope you will consider it too!
I have copied this CALL FOR ART SUBMISSIONS from:
http://breakthesilenceproject.com/

break the silence

Welcome to break the silence project. com. Here are the beginning steps of a community project that encourages the exploration of issues surrounding sexual abuse through creative means. Among things to come are a forum and a directory of other creative projects that address these topics.

The main goals of the Break the Silence project are to showcase creative works that deal with sexual violence, to provide a possibility for community-building, and to further raise public awareness and dialogue on these subjects.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS (this is where you come in)

Break the Silence is looking for submissions that address the themes of the silence around sexual abuse, reasons people stay silent, and experiences of breaking that silence.

All visual and literary arts as well as other forms of creative expression are welcomed. This includes, but is not limited to:

photography, painting, collage, drawing, watercolor, mixed media, digital works
audio and video works - possibilities include music, spoken word, video pieces
fiction, creative nonfiction, prose, poetry
any combinations of the above!
You do NOT have to be a professional artist/writer/musician/whatever to participate in this. You simply need to have something to say on the subject of sexual violence and find the way to say it that best suits you.

Submissions will be showcased on this website, with the possibility of later being part of a printed publication and/or traveling exhibition.

To submit:

IMAGES

Should be in JPG format, at least 2500 pixels on their longest side, and under 10 megabytes each.
Can be sent as an email attachment or mailed on a CD.
You may send a hard copy instead, no more than 11" on longest side.
AUDIO

WAV format preferred, MP3 also accepted.
Can be sent as email attachment or mailed on CD.
VIDEO

Should be sent in MOV format.
Preferably mailed on CD.
WRITTEN

Should be in DOC or PDF format.
Please note if type is meant to formatted a specific way - i.e. if font choice, layout, etc. is integral to the piece.
Consider creative ways of showing your written work - i.e. if appropriate, could be handwritten instead of typed and sent as image, etc.
ALL SUBMISSIONS SHOULD HAVE

The title clearly indicated.
Your name as you would like it displayed. You may choose to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym.
Your location - city, state, country. (*optional)
A brief comment/explanation of the piece. (*optional)
A way for you to be contacted. This will not be made public.
Multiple submissions are welcome. Send email submissions to breakthesilenceproject@gmail.com.

All other submissions can be sent to:
Break the Silence project
PO Box 1536
Lexington, KY 40588

Please note, these materials will not be returned.
Any questions? breakthesilenceproject@gmail.com

There is NO fee to enter. DEADLINE IS MARCH 15, 2009.

One Through Seven

The following paintings are the very first portion of my new, year-long series. By January 15th of next year, I will have painted one for each day, or three hundred and sixty five pieces. Nice.
And I have to say, rarely do I feel that one of my circles is excellent, however, number three is excellent. I'll try to post these weekly, and so perhaps we will see a pattern start to emerge.


365.one



365.two



365.three



365.four



365.five



365.six



365.seven

Dot

One of my images is featured in this month's platform58 e-zine. I am located towards the end (a primarily aqua colored painting). Check it out!

(again) WOOOOOOOOO!

Oh Happy Day

In honor of it, I bring you the happiest dance known to man and woman alike...the Bollywood routine, again, from the show SYTYCD. I'll stop with the dancing posts for now, but I felt that this was a good end cap, especially for this very exciting day.

WOOOOOOO!

- The best home videos are here

Save a Dance For Me

Since the last one I posted was popular...another favorite from the 'So You Think You Can Dance' show. It is possibly the greatest TV show ever made. This is another Mia Michaels routine. If choreographers had groupies...
And coincidentally, the song is by Imogen Heap again. I enjoy their music.

As is with all of the dancing on the show, this is stunning.


When I have a particularly fabulous day, I will get to posting the Bollywood routine.

Women in Art

(as subject) This has some excellent morphing action.

Beautiful

choreography by mia michaels.

Art Purse

I have one. Would you like to see what's in it? Y'all are going to anyway since I took several photos.
But looking in purses is fun, and there are a bunch of wacky tools in mine. Here goes:

This is my art purse.



The art purse after all contents are spilled. There are tons of fun and odd things in here. Everything I may need at any given time is right here.



This is a shot of all of my carving tools. I use these babies for scraping, and marking up the paper. As you can see, I have a huge variety. And not one, but two forks, since they have different thicknesses.



This is my absolute favorite tool. This is the one I always start with, and use the most. I may add others to my symphony, but I always grab the half-scissors first. If I could hug this tool without fear of getting poked, or a new tetanus shot, I definitely would.



And it all fits back inside when I am done. Art purses are handy.

Center

"There's a small, still center into which conception can arrive. And when it arrives, you make it welcome with your experience."

-Anne Truitt.

Please see her work here.

365

I have decided that since I am not so motivated to be painting anything right now....that I would force the issue and make myself adhere to this easy plan: One circle painting per day.
That's the whole plan. It truly is a simple one. I have given myself no limitations other than that, no additional restrictions or boundaries. I can use any type of surface...just has to have a circle of some kind, and some paint. Can I do it? Well I'm gonna seriously try this. It's going to allow me to play with different surfaces, as well as get me into the habit of constantly painting. I do paint a lot, on average, don't get me wrong. But there are sometimes huge gaps in my painting habits, that are thinking times for my other work. I still feel they should be filled though....with something. That 'something' is going to have to be circles, as I doubt I could even tolerate looking at another shape every day for a year.
So you see....I'll actually be doing myself a favor by creating circles ad nauseam.
I've chosen the more active option of 'combat' towards my creative block. It's ON. *airkick*

ART IN THE ALLEYS

Please enjoy this very thorough account of the Art In The Alleys Project. The video and interviews were featured on the show Insight Milwaukee. This video and other information can be found at Sura's website: http://www.suraforchange.com/2008/12/14/new-art-in-the-alleys-post/
The mural I created is shown among others at the very end of the video.



The Art in the Alleys project website can be found here.

They Lost My Paintings

Two of them, the last show lost them. I brought in 23 and now I have only 21 and no check to speak of. I'm calling them in a bit here, when they open...
But, could someone give me an effin break for once?!?

You know what I would like? A normal response to something I do, just normal, just once. I want an 'everyman' experience. I want to do a good job, and I want to be compensated appropriately. I want to pick up my work and not have to question whether someone has ripped me off. I want to not have to fight for every little thing, all the time. I want to relax and let life flow over me rather than having to cut a great swath through it.

I'm really tired, and I've got at least 30 more years to go.

Everything Will LIve

"All that I made before the age of 65 is not worth counting. At 73 I began to understand the construction of animals, plants, trees, birds, fishes, and insects. At 90 I will enter into the secret of things. At 110 everything - every dot, every dash - will live."

Katsushika Hokusai

Older Images

I had to fix a lot of my images or take new photos for the impending grad school deadline. All of the people I have asked to be references have agreed. That's half of it, right there.
But anyway, I thought I'd share a few older images that would most likely never be posted on here otherwise. Painted last year...enjoy.

Invisible Unless I Shout




I Will Rise




18 Years Without



(detail)

If There Were a Tree

The hyena almost made me have an episode of panic just a minute ago. The hyena.
What am I talking about? Long story, here it goes.

When I was about 19 I had this 'friend' he was older, and I thought wiser, and he had had some of the same experiences in life that I had had. And although I was convinced he hated me more than half of the time, he still gave me some of the most profound things to think about. These things always involved our lack of a mother. In the same club, he and I. So there was that at least, I think he saw himself in me, to an extent...before his own fall.
I digress, but let me give you a portion of my thesis paper that encapsulates my gist:


"Societies are much the same in the animal kingdom as well. I remember when I was 20, my friend whom had also lost his mother at a young age, relayed a story to me about a wild animal. In essence it is this: If an animal's mother is killed in the wild, that animal is now all alone in the world. The rest of his clan and his society will turn against him. It is because he no longer fits, and he is not the same. He is now an outcast.

My friend was using this story as an analogy for the two of us, and our shared pain. I have never forgotten it. It was such a powerful, miserable, all-consuming concept, that I will never forget it. He described perfectly for me the loss I had been feeling for years. I found a oneness with his experience, and that helped me to understand my society, my world, and my own experience. It hurt like hell to hear, but I knew he told me so that I could conceive of what I was up against. He was warning me about my own society."


OKAY. So we have that thought swimming around my head since I was 19...and then came the hyena. And I'm not even particularly fond of hyenas (I blame The Lion King) however, I found myself some years later watching a nature special about them.

While I was watching of course, the worst thing happened, like Bambi in real life. The mom hyena died, broke her back.....the little one watched her slowly die and then stayed by the tree where she lay dead for quite awhile...unsure and desperate and helpless.

She wandered out, and was attacked. Even though that young hyena was a part of that clan, once her mother had died, she no longer held a place in their world. She was not only an outcast, but was ATTACKED because her mother was dead. I watched in tear-stained horror as it only got worse.

Confused, sad, and alone, the tiny hyena then wandered into enemy territory and again, got attacked. (things were really starting to sink in for me at this point) It was the saddest thing I have ever watched, truthfully. This little helpless baby, wandering and alone in the world. Truly alone.

Then I watched the wounded (emotionally and otherwise) baby have no other choice but to go back to her dead mother's side. It was reported by the announcer that the hyena eventually starved to death, unmoved from that tree, nuzzled up next to her dead mother's body.

(You have no idea the amount of tears I am shedding now. It's freaking unreal.)

But the point I'm getting at is that I have to paint something with my mom again, because it helps. Based on the panic I have been experiencing lately, I need it, because I still feel helpless sometimes, and attacked by the world. If there were a tree, I would surely want to curl up next to it some days, so that I could at least die with someone who had loved me.
But there isn't a tree.


I've been all up and down today, which I don't like one bit, so I decided to blog about it. I got sudden (and instantaneous) panic, crying and shortness of breath when that sad little hyena flashed into my head out of seemingly no where. All I got was that one, split second, thought/picture and it sent me into an instant tail spin. It hasn't happened like that in awhile, or that badly. That hyena gets me every time, and any time she wants.

So I basically wrote out this long thing to say...that I miss my mom today, and it came at me like an overpowering wave. So I think I'll paint something really emotionally difficult for me, in order to ease something for myself in the long run.

Tricky....didja get that?

Today

I am picking out my 20 pieces that will go in my portfolio for grad school. The real challenge here is that I need to submit two drawings that show my intentions.....I don't draw.
I mean, I draw, but I don't draw, you know. Generally speaking, I make all of the marks on my paintings with line, so technically it's drawing. However, I have never been one to 'sketch' things out before I start, or visually plan the painting by starting a drawing. I kinda just go for it.
My plans usually involve writing, all writing, no sketches. I can visually translate my plan though, so I don't really need the drawing. It's already in my head, you see. The words are just a guide, they serve the same function as a drawing would.

*sigh*

also no longer mine. (This has probably already been used as some sort of effigy or voodoo doll...)
Nevertheless, it still remains one of the coolest things I ever made, I think. Letting go is hard sometimes. It helps a tiny bit that I got paid for this piece though.

Stormy Weather

More

...paintings not previously seen.

Blood Vessel 15



Blood Vessel 23